A friend of mine said to me with all the crime in StMaarten why don't I write something about love to uplift people. Well here it is. Love is very vital to one's living. It gives us inner strength to continue living a meaningful life. Love gives us the momentum to continue reproducing our species. It is used and plays an important role for procreation. When you are in love you begin a new life together with someone. But being truly in love takes commitment because sometimes the road might not be smooth. But as long as you are one with each other, you can go through anything: a hard terrain, a bad weather, an earthquake and still come out unharmed. Because when you have each other nothing else matters but the two of you. We live in a world of problems but by being together, you should be able to solve any problem you come across. After all, two brains are better than one. What matters is that you are not facing the problem alone but with someone in the same situation as you and who is there for you. And also when you are horny you don't have to waste any more money on vibrators or prostitutes or lose your hand grip. You don't have to worry about someone loving you because somebody has already made a commitment to do so. You have someone to share stories with, to share moments with and coupled with marriage, someone to share a family and build the family with. These things give you a peace of mind and save you a lot of time looking for them and being alone. Being in love is a wonderful thing and one that should be experienced by all humanity. But most importantly, being in love should be understood and not taken for granted. People need to be in love because it's a good thing. But not everyone will be in love. Different commitments and phobias have hindered some people of the wonderful gift of being in love. But still other people are in love but not to their partners but to their work, car, boat, dog, self etc. Being in love with someone gives you internal happiness. You know you are not alone. There's someone out there who wants the same things as you and who enjoys the same things as you and who supports you and takes care of you and loves you and sleeps with you. When people are in love, they are more organized and focused. A lot of energy and time is wasted thinking about sex and looking for a partner. But when you in love, you don't have to look for a partner, you don't have to look for love, you don't have to spend a lot of time looking for sex and thinking about sex. Your partner provides you these things, thus you have more time to do other things. It's like a heavy burden has been lifted off your shoulder. You can then spend that time doing good for mankind. 'A happy man has happy thoughts'. Being in love is a wonderful thing and most people should fall in love. But the desire to be in love should not outweigh the readiness to be in love. If being in love is rushed, it crushes. You need to really know the person before you commit to them and totally open up to them. Unfortunately we live in a cruel world where some people don't have honest intentions. Something like being in love can be manipulated for their own benefit, which would not benefit you but bring you misery. If someone loves you that means they are saying that they are not going anywhere. Thus there is no need to rush for anything. Being in love should not be used as means to take advantage of someone neither should it be used to ruin someone's life. Being in love should be enjoyed, appreciated and looked forward to. Unfortunately you can not be in love with anyone. We are all different. We want different things; we need different things; we like different things; we have different upbringings, different desires, different tastes, different goals and aspirations. Thus there is no way that you can be in love with anyone unless you keep changing your personality to suit them but even then, your true self will always come out and you then fall out of love with them or they fall out of love with you. But most importantly, it is not really necessary to be in love with anyone. You don't need three billion ladies or guys. You only need one and there is always someone for everyone. No matter how pathetic you are there is someone for you. But most people abuse this. They know there is someone for them but they don't try to be a better person for someone. It takes two to tango. So just as much as you want someone good thing for you, you should make yourself appealing, to someone. A lot of relationships fail because there is only one person doing the loving. Both of you should contribute to making the relationship better. Both of you should be in love with each other. Yes people can be in love forever. Being in love is meant to last forever. That is why people always use this phrase: 'I will always love you'. Everybody wants to be in love forever. This is why people with commitment phobias don't want to be in love. They don't want to commit to one person forever. But what is wrong with committing to one person forever? You make better plans the two of you and keep building on your goals other than changing partners all the time, then you have to start afresh again and probably start new goals before you even finished the ones you had with the previous partner. That is why relationships that are self-centered never last. If all you think about is yourself and your well being, then being in love isn't for you. When you are in love with someone, their well being is equally as important as yours. Their happiness is equally as important as yours. Their security is equally as important as yours. Their support is equally as important as yours. Being in love takes commitment. Without commitment, the love fades away. You just can't sit back and say, 'am in love'. You have to do something special for your partner and keep doing it. Simple romantic gestures such as filling the bathtub with nice herbal bubbly warm water, with candles all around, nice romantic music playing in the background, chocolates on the side of the bathtub and a warm towel. Then letting your partner go in the bathtub alone and enjoy it in private without you disturbing her or rushing to jump in with her. Give her some nice alone time to enjoy herself and feel appreciated. Afterwards when she's through with the bathtub, she will reward you highly. Such things sustain the relationship and make being in love much more exciting. Being in love is not just a feeling. It's an act. Don't just feel good about it, do something good about it. Being in love is a wonderful thing. Keep it wonderful by being wonderful to each other and the people around you. In conclusion the human is in need of love.
Miguel Arrindell