Pantomime fairies are fascinating creatures. I love them. I hate them. This week, a Dutch fairy in the unlikely form of Alexandra van Huffelen is visiting the Dutch Caribbean seven days before a national election to deliver worthless promises. The fact that she is doing it at election time is wrong.
Although her gifts such as child benefits, social housing, and port management may seem welcome (albeit late in the day), the way she delivers her candy is wrong. Why? Well for starters, van Huffelen will not be using her own fairy wings or a celestial credit card to navigate the big pond but those of the taxpayer.
The leading role of this D’66 pantomime may be played by her but she is miscast. Does the Wicked Witch of the West Indies come to mind? Van Huffelen will fly on a very expensive broom alongside a fleet of civil servants and security detail to deliver a lot of empty promises - since even before election day, she is already in office but out of power.
To misquote Shakespeare and Monty Python, her party and cabinet have shuffled off their mortal coil. They are a dead parrot. We know it. They know it.
Sleeping Beauty would probably describe best the last twenty years of major party politics in the Netherlands. Tired men and women of the large four parties look up and only rarely look down. And at the stroke of midnight, what do we get? Pumpkins and van Huffelen.
Does the Secretary of State for Kingdom Relations even speak Papiamento or even fluent English? And despite a garbled press release from her Ministry, the purpose of her visit can only be perceived through the lens of electoral corruption.
And will this handsome prince ever be moved to kiss the cheek of van Huffelen?
No thank you.